RETARDED CATS: THE MOVIE

RETARDED CATS: THE MOVIE


*Cat Noises* SHUT UP! I’m so sorry my beautiful family. I failed you And I failed my company When a man with no options left… Goodbye cruel world Sir, sir! I found the funniest video ever …Has the greatest revelation of the 21st century… It’s called Dopey cat. Just look at his cute dopey face And get this… This deformed cat is making that guy so much money, He quit his job My God, we need to tell the board about this right now I know how we can save this company How? Retarded cats …He’ll stop at nothing to make it happen… Retarded cats count for billions of dollars in revenue every single day on YouTube If we can find a way to create a gene altering drug to make cats retarded We’d be sitting on a gold mine No, A Retarded cat mine But when another man has an issue with wording Retarded is too offensive of a word can we call him something like special cats Or mentally unstable felines? We don’t have time for your politically correct bullshit right now, Larry! These retarded cats are our ticket out of bankruptcy. He’ll take a stand Oh, how about we call them mentally disadvantaged furry friends. Damn it, No Larry! Let’s go make some retarded cats! The new formula worked They finally created the world’s perfect retarded cat Get this drug into mass production right now I want a thousand of these retarded cats by next week I’m happy to announce that retarded Ketamine is now the number one selling drug in America. Yes! Yeah! No, I refuse to be a part of this. All you had to do was give it a non-offensive name But no, you just woudn’t listen to me! You’re standing in the way of progress, Larry. So either get on board or get.. OUT! You’ll regret this decision There’s no way any of us are gonna regret this decision right? He’ll make them regret their decision. I’m gonna make them regret their decision They should have listened Sir, Larry’s stolen the formula! Oh, God, if everyone gets their hand on this drug every cat in the world will be retarded *Red Light flashes* No, it’s begun *A wild Retarded cat appears* oh Look at that retarded cute cat AAH! They should have listened AAH! They really should have listened. I told him we’d regret this decision. Hahaha! Oh, God, they should have f–king listened! (incessant meowing) (yelling) (groaning) All you had to do was call him something politically correct. They are retarded cats! Actually, if you tried looking it up in the dictionary for once, you would see that retarded is defined as slow or limited in intellectual or emotional development or academic progress. These cats are more developmentally disabled than anything and society needs to stop misusing the word retarded! It’s the same thing as the word gay. Everyone’s like, oh, that’s so gay, or, don’t be so gay, and it’s really starting to piss me off! (grunts) (yelling) You stupid gay, retarded cat! (screaming) To see deleted scenes and bloopers… But the AIDS division’s on the verge of developing a cure. Maybe we can move the penis enlargement division instead. …click the video right here! Can we call him something like mentally disadvantaged pussies? Thanks for subscribing I’m whispering because I don’t want these retarded cats to hear me (cats meowing) (announcer screaming) (vicious cat snarling) Yeah, I don’t get why people find it so weird when a guy loves a stuffed animal. So I like to get naked and lather myself in baby oil then take my teddy bear and hump it into submission until I fall asleep. Who cares, right, right? Riiight.

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