idk like cats and gallbladders and stuff

idk like cats and gallbladders and stuff


woah. woah. do i want to wear glasses? yes.
hello. AHH. Ah. i hope you can hear me okay. i might set up a microphone. give me a sec.
it shouldn’t do that. so i’m not gonna… so i’m not gonna talk about my life because
i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing with it i cannot believe i gave advice when i was
TWENTY YEARS OLD i was a mess i still am a mess please don’t listen to anything i say.
i am terrified of the internet it is literally killing people i’m gonna try my best to dip
back in now and again in the teeniest safest softest ways that i can so here are some of
my thoughts. some of my thoughts. i dunno if you know this but i’ve spoken about being
in pain, bodily pain on my channel before on the internet basically i have this one
terrible terrible night where i get pain around here! just under my ribs all the way around
my back and believe me when i say it is unbearable like rolling around on the floor wailing unbearable
i kept going to the doctor and they were giving me various pills. i once got a whole jug of
laxatives. that did not help. it was so gross. i’ve been on various prazoles. gavascon did
not help paracetamol did not help ibuprofen did not help the nights usually go as follows.
it’s 7pm, i’ve eaten a meal and the pain comes on and i’m like oh no. hopefully it’ll be
fine. it’s 10pm the pain is pretty bad i take a bath it’s kind of dulled take some pain
killers and i try to go to sleep. it’s 1am i’ve been rolling around in my bed crying,
might take another bath. it is 2am and i finally call 111 and say please please help me! they
ask me a question: is the pain in your chest? i’m always like.. yeah, but also kinda not
and they’re like you need to tell us if it is is because if it is we’re getting you an
ambulance. a few times i was like no it’s fine nevermind. the next time i got an uber
to a and e and then more recently i was like “you know what? fuck it, yeah, send me an
ambulance cause I am screaming” so they did i was put on gas and air, very strange “this
is not anything i’m EVER going to put online (oh my god)” so i arrive and i wait 4 hours
as you do at a and e – the birds are chirping, my pain has dulled and numbed to the point
where it’s kinda gone. i see a doctor. they say what the fuck is wrong i say it’s gone
now and they say we can’t help you. this is a and e, accident and emergency. book an appointment
with your GP. and i say okay goodbye. goodbye. then i go home feeling like a crazy lady.
BUT more recently i’ve persevered and got a scan – i’ve had a few scans in the past
but finally they found a lump on my gallbladder! a LUMP! I saw it with my own eyes! 1cm long!
i saw it! it has a name. I can’t say it. asadkjsdahmotsis. admememdoemon. adenooome… nope. i have an
appointment with a specialist soon to see if i want it TAKEN OUT! that’s right! an organ!
and i’ve looked up keyhole surgery, i don’t know why i did i shouldnt have. they blow
up your damn tummy like a BALLOON! oh my god the like 3d animation is just horrendous.
they just stick prongs in you and go (pump up noise) until your body is like (prrr) kjahsdkahsd
where does that air go! does it go? what if it is still in there what hole does it come
out! you don’t fart it out because that’s like a different place you don’t have any
holes surely your body is airtight?! so where’s it gonna go! what if i just have air in me
forever! i just can’t – i’ve spoken about being put to sleep before on this channel
cause i don’t wanna be turned off. it freaks me out so much. i’ve asked my friends if they’d
come with me and they’re like yeah and i’m like i don’t think you understand. you’re
going to see in my primal animalistic state of fear i’m gonna be yelling screaming anything
i damn can it’s not my fault! it’s not my fault everything in me is just going to say
don’t turn me off i don’t want to DIE! the next time i wake up i’ll be in pain and not
only will i be in a lot of pain, i’ll be in pain because i’m missing an ORGAN. i’m missing
an organ! you shouldnt mess with this sutff! it all works! in its own way! don’t take something
out! you can’t do that! you shouldnt mess with that stuff! AH. i’ve done a lot of research
on the digestive system. basically – i’ll explain this as quickly as possible because
this is not what you signed up for. the liver creates bile. the bile is stored in the gallbladder
like a little squeezy pump that is concentrated. and it squeezes bile out into the small intenstine
to break up the fats for you to use that food for your body. when you don’t have a gallbladder,
the bile just trickles down from the liver into the small intenstine. um so a lot of
people after having it removed will have problems digesting fats maybe get diarrhoea maybe put
on weight – don’t love the idea of changing my diet i’m not very good at food control,
don’t really want an element of that in my life. eww i just don’t know if it’s worth
it like what if i get more pain! like currently my pain comes every six months or so. and
it is terrible i have no doubt that the next time i’m in pain i’m gonna be like cut me
open blow me up like a balloon but right now i’m alright! not in pain. what if i’m in constant
pain after? it’s just a weird decision, i don’t like it. i don’t like getting old, i
don’t like all these body things. blahblahblah wahh dodie. anyway so that’s one thing i’ve
been thinking of i’m sure i’m going to get loads of comments, people telling me to get
it people telling me to not – i don’t know okay. another thought i’ve been having recently
– can you imagine an apple in your mind? can’t believe i’m talking about this surely it’s
been talked about to death. this one didn’t phase me so much because – i dunno like i
feel like i don’t want to say i’m… the norm? i dunno! i feel like i’m pretty bog standard
i can definitely see an apple in my mind – if i close my eyes and imagine it it’s red it
just looks like a video looks like a memory how does your brain know what is real and
what isn’t. i mean mine doesn’t! anyway so that was very interesting but then it kind
of moved into what are your thoughts like in your head and fun fact – i had a contract
to write a second book and then i was like just kidding i’m just gonna do music now.
i was gonna write short stories about super powers. and one of them i thought it was pretty
good! maybe i will write it – i dunno. basically the idea was this girl at a traumatic event
in her life her brain kind of splits as a way to cope and develops mind reading! and
my kind of like special twist was like oh well she doesn’t hear thoughts because you
can’t actually hear people’s thoughts cause they are never ever one coherent sentence
they’re like a mess of feelings and images and abstract pictures and maybe the odd word
but like never really pinpoint exactly what it is when reading twilight which i still
would argue is an amazing series of books. i love the twilight books i think the writing’s
amazing i think the concept is perfect what a perfect fantasy! okay alright edward cullen
could read thoughts and i’m sure like in every other book that you’ve read where someone
can read thoughts it’s like in italics like one perfect sentence and i was always like
well that’s just artistic license cause no one ever really thinks like that but apparently
you do! apparently you do. apparently some people just have a running monologue of words!
i can’t express how insane that is! surely it’s so easy to talk for you! there’s no other
step of like translating your feelings into words because your mind just does it for you?
question mark? i’m so like jealous of that! like if you have a running monologue you could
probably write down everything it’s saying i mean i could do that anyway but like it’s
kinda like i don’t really know but you could like analyse your words like in your head
and find out so much about yourself whereas mine is like (sound effects of mind) there’s
a song playing, so those are the words i can hear in my head. it’s only lyrics or a memory
of something or maybe like imaginary conversation i would have with someone where i’d play out
in my head but it’s never me being like “wow i would really like a… glass of oatmilk.”
if i wanted a drink I wouldn’t think “wow i’m thirsty. You know what i need!” i’d just
be like mermermermermem. i’d like ooh. ooh! oh god. this is really hard! you can’t – this
is the thing! i feel like i can’t describe to you what my thoughts are because they are
literally just a song playing in one corner of my subconscious, a worry, deep buried within
but i don’t know what it is, a memory slash imaginary memory, of future or past – i feel
like it’s yeah i dunno! it’s just so strange to me. alright moving on. another thing i’ve
been thinking of is my response to my dear 25 year old me video. it’s coming up and it’s
my birthday in april! i’m gonna be 25 years old! half a decade since i made that video.
ohhHHH my . yeah. i keep getting a bit emotional when i think about it. i have not watched
it since! i remember asking if my cat had died. my cat has died. i’ll probably talk
about it in the video. another thing – i want a cat so bad. and i keep getting alerts from
shelters for new cats that have come in but they all require a garden and every time i
call up and i say hello i don’t have a garden please can i have cat and they go nooo. no.
and i look at the picture of the cat and i cry. cause i already imagined our life together!
and so i gotta stop doing that. um my brain is telling me that the internet is gonna say
well you need a garden for a cat. i am also very aware plants are poisonous for cats.
also aware they are on a radiator my radiator is broken. i just hear the internet! being
like RAH. hm hm hm . anyway carry on. another thing i’ve been thinking about is i am itching
for big change. which is wild! quite recently actually i was faced with a big change that
was happening and it almost stopped something almost went you know what? you could not just
move forward you could keep everything as it is and i realised i didn’t want that i
was like ooh. i think i’ve adapted to the idea of change now. i think i need it. makes
me feel so much better when i think about like my family and my home life. and how in
my worst moments i’m like oh my gosh i’d do anything to go back i’d do anything to keep
it all the same and maybe… i don’t really feel that. maybe if at that moment everything
split and exploded maybe i would have said you know what? do it! kaboom! i needed it.
(dodie do you actually believe that) i dunno. I think that’s enough rambling! can’t believe
i’m making a video! new music is coming. you know that. i’m just gonna be happy with whoever
is curious enough to listen. it is really good! i wrote a score for a thirteen piece
string section and it is the music i’ve always wanted to make in my entire life! and i wanna
send it out to anyone i admire and hope they will hire me to write their film scores! okay!
my heart hurts cause i thought about change. KNOW WHY cause my thoughts are like this!
and this is the big worry! thanks for listening. okay bye.

100 thoughts on “idk like cats and gallbladders and stuff

  1. I'm a med student in Chile, where we have an abnormally high number of gallbladder issues, and I had heard that it was so weird in other countries that they didn't recognize it, but I thought it was an exaggeration, I mean, I still have 3 more years before becoming a doctor and i recognized your symptoms right away. I don't know where I'm going with this, it was just exiting to know what was going on xD

  2. The air they use is primarily CO2, which your body knows how to release, so the air will be absorbed and will go out the same way all CO2 does (mostly through your breath).

  3. No, so I think constantly in proper phrases and sentences, but I can't get words out properly and often lose my words. It makes no sense

  4. Lol i wish it was that easy to talk. For someone with a non-stop internal monologue, i sure can't socialise for shit😂 i'll literally have full blown conversations w myself in my head but when it comes to other humans, nah lol

  5. I had gallstones 😂 I got my gallbladder taken out and I wasn't even hospitalised overnight. I have to use lactose pills and digestion pills every day or else EVERYTHING comes out in a few hours. It's super worth it though. 👍

  6. ME FREAKING OUT BECAUSE I HAD MY GALLBLADDER REMOVED LIKE IN OCTOBER,,, I'm 15 and so I know it's super hard. I had a mall function gallbladder that was producing stones when it shouldn't have. I had the surgery and it's okay. The pain hurts in your shoulders for a couple of days but it's okay. I've been horrified of to be put under. You'll be thankful to have its removed. You're a big inspiration to me and I relate to you a lot, and as someone who literally had a panic attack and ripped out their own IV tube out of their hand when being put under I can confirm that the doctor can help you if you're anxious going under again. I hope the best for dodie

  7. I thought it was funny when she said it must be so convenient for ppl with internal monologues to share their feelings bc that’s exactly why i do it. For small actions like thirst and different activities i don’t have to think out my thoughts. I just kinda… do. But for anything that’s not basic action I think like i’m speaking to someone else. That way I can decide whether my thoughts make sense to another person. I understand myself, but the extra layer of “talking it out” helps me sort it all out. like I’d think “I’m so sad and I think it’s because of this..” or “I saw this dog today that you would love”. Like most things i wanna day or wish i could say has already been “said” once in my head. Is this what all internal monologue ppl feel like? Do your thoughts talk to other ppl of your choosing or do y’all just talk to yourself?

  8. Okay I literally have the same exact rib back pain and it behaves almost the same exact way. It's seriously the worst pain

  9. I just had surgery a couple of weeks ago to get one of my ovaries taken out because there was a cyst that made it grow to the size of a football lol. I hate the idea of being put to sleep too and it was really scary to think of being unconscious and cut open but my surgery went really well and it feels so much better now to have the sick organ gone and my body healing. That is a really big decision to make and I know you'll decide whatever is best for you, but if you do get it done just remember that the doctors have done this all before and they know what they're doing and want the best results for you too and I hope you're able to feel a little more at peace about it <3 lots of love

  10. I had my gallbladder surgically removed when I was only 9 years old because it just literally decided to kill itself after I ate McDonalds one night. I'm fine though lmao so Dodie will hopefully also end up just fine.

  11. "this is not what you signed up for"… er. YES IT IS!!!!! DODIE IS WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR. these sorts of videos are my favourite. even though your a big name now you're still down to earth and normal and wonderful and funny. I LOVE THIS.

  12. This sounds exactly like what happened to me! Randomly one day when I was 22 I started having this EXTREME pain in my ribcage area. It felt like someone had a corset on me but was excruciating, incessant pain. Nothing helped – standing, sitting, walking, curling up in a ball, taking pain relievers – nothing. I just had to hope I could fall asleep and kill some time before it wore off. Turns out it was a dairy allergy. I drank so much milk as child that once I went to college and stopped consuming it, my body lost the enzyme to break it down. Now every time I have more than a few tablespoons of dairy, I get the same ( almost immediate) excruciating pain for hours and hours. Best of luck on your journey to healing, my love! <3

  13. Ok so on the topic of internal monologues, I definitely have one. I have full on conversations with myself (and others) in my head. BUT I also have the more abstract thoughts as well. I often just have those feelings that don't come with worded thoughts, and sometimes just see things in my head without any translation of what's going on. Sometimes I switch between the two and sometimes I have them both at the same time. Like the running monologue overlapping the abstract thoughts. Anybody else?

  14. Your description of your thoughts, as all over the place as it is, is the MOST ACCURATE description of what goes on in my head i've heard yet. No internal monologue, like your average super-villain describing his master plan (muhahahaha), just images and cravings, and memories and urges, etc. And music in the background, of course. The idea of loss of consciousness for me causes immense anxiety as well. And change, although I am learning to deal with that with the help of medication. Love your "squeezy pump" description of gall bladder- made me chuckle.

  15. I had the same realization about people having running monologues. Also blew my mind lmao! I think like you do – it's a lot of feeling and pictures and flashes/weird transitions, sometimes a word or two here. Like for example, if i was thirsty I would see a glass of water, feel thirsty and think "water" while also thinking of the nearest place to get water. It's mostly pictures, and I too usually have a song running in the background 😂So I feel you on the whole struggling to express yourself.

    PS. about the keyhole surgery – they try and suck out as much of the air as possible before closing you, and then the little that's left will eventually get absorbed into your organs (usually the gut) and make its way out your body, but you might be a little bloated post-op. It's one of the reasons they get you to start moving around as soon as possible post-op! I'm a first year med student so this may not be 100% correct, and I know the idea of surgery is scary (it scares me too), but you don't have to worry about air being stuck in you forever :p

  16. this is so surreal but you've always been an older sister figure to me i've watched you since middle school and i just turned 18 and i just have so much thanks to give u for all the advice i've collected from watching your videos growing up

  17. But why do your cats need gardens?? I'm literally not allowed to let my cat outside where I am, it's illegal. Cats have to be indoor for us – but you can buy cat grass plants, surely that's all you need?

  18. In response to the internal monologue: my inner voice is like a movie narrator kind of (?). My brain is so busy it’s like having a conversation/argument. But it doesn’t make it any easier in conversation because my brain doesn’t concentrate on what I should be saying it is thinking about other things, like how the person is looking at me or how their hair looks, also I don’t necessarily want to let out all of my internal thoughts as they can sometimes be kind of mean lol.

  19. bodies are so inconvenient
    i know when i see a specialist im going to have to decide whether i want surgery on my knee
    and my bowel problems are back full and strong such fun and so much pain
    bodies just get in the way so much

  20. ok so my mom had this same surgery so im gonna warn you, youre probably gonna suffer from acid reflex and vomiting without your gallbladder when you eat greasy foods. HOWEVER this is just what happened with my mom and idk if its with everyone!

  21. im with you on the change thing!! i think its a part of growing up, but itchy feet happens, and thats ok, i think we always end up where we're meant to, and thats the exciting part about life, something happens and you go 'yes this is where i'm meant to be'

  22. it’s not thinking the words as sentences as much as it is just like hearing someone speak but it’s just in your head. idk if that’s just because of my adhd but I honestly feel like sometimes my brain has a kid running around just babbling nonsense and asking questions. but then in other situations the kid turns into an adult and says something really intellectual and mature and I’m like “wow u right”

  23. Hi! My mom and two best friends have had their gallbladders out. Super not a big deal! And you do fart the air out. They pump air into you for most laparoscopic procedures, it's an alternative to slicing you all the way open. (I had a laparoscopy to remove endometriosis growths from my intestines/bowels and it's similar in terms of recovery etc) It's okay to be scared though!

  24. the verbalized thoughts thing IS SO FUCKIN WILD and I've had that exact thought about how speaking must be so easy because there is no translation. If you have sentences in your head, do you just never have the experience of not knowing how to say something??

  25. The running monologue is the WORST. I have to LISTEN to myself CONSTANTLY. I just don't SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPP.

    Yeah it's the worst. But I imagine speaking is way easier for me yes.

  26. I haven’t finished watching but I had the SAME thing happen to me… take some tums. It’s just you gallbladders freaking out. You have a crappy gallbladder!

  27. Ahhh there it is. You said it. Gallbladder. It’s not a bad surgery. Had it six months ago. But figuring out what you CAN and CANT eat after is kind of a fun “gamble gas” game… is it gas…?or is it poo…? (sorry hahah)

  28. We’ve got ragdoll cats so luckily they don’t really need to go outside they like the indoors so we just take them out on their leads. And we have loads of plants just keep them out the way ours have never tried eating them, they just knock them over instead

  29. dodes it is so fine to have inside cats!! we kept our cats inside until they were two years old to train them to stay close to the house, and now they only go out in our garden on weekends. get lots of little kitty toys to keep her happy and entertained!!! u can take her out for little walks on a leash even!! plus having outdoor cats is pretty bad for wildlife, esp in australia. and they’re safe from cars and ticks and stuff. anyway dodie I want u to get a cat so bad 🥺🥺 love u

  30. My mum's had her gall bladder out for a few years now, she has a bit of trouble with fatty foods, some kinds of fish and pork yanno. Um. She tends to be a bit sick like.. Vom sick but overall she's healthy and chipper. If you need to remove it, not too much will change is basically what I'm saying.. 🙂 yeah.. Overall your choice tho.. xx

  31. people who think in coherent sentences: wow im hungry, im going to make a burger versus me, a person who doesnt think in coherent sentences: mm b o r g o r

  32. i had a feeling there was something wrong with your gallbladder, i just thought it was gallstones tbh but wow i'm glad you've found out what it is.
    About the surgery, it is truly not that bad. I got my gallbladder out about 3 years ago, i had gallstones and pancreatitis and it was dangerous. they didn't tell me about the air that'd be pumped in, so after i had bad wind pain in my shoulder and chest etc and it was hard and unexpected. but it went after a day or so, had to walk around the hospital halls to help relieve it. the first few days after the surgery was difficult, of course, but i was so relieved that i wasn't going to deal with that horrible pain again. it was the worst pain i've ever experienced and honestly fuck the gallbladder like. again, wasn't told about the fat digestion and such so i was eating normally for about 2 years afterwards before i realised oh wow i don't feel good i should try figure that out and am on something now to help the digestion.
    if i could rewind, i'd do the surgery again 100%. honestly i have a bit of fear attached to that time of my life, because the pain was so terrible and i was very anxious about it.
    obviously do what you think is best dodes, i'm glad to see you uploading again, i've missed your videos. i hope it gets better for you!

  33. Okay, I got a similar surgery getting my gallbladder removed, and I was so freaked out about being "put to sleep", as you said. But honestly it was so not the big deal I thought it would be. Honestly when I woke up, I felt like I had the BEST nap I've ever had. I went home again later the same day, and besides a bit of discomfort and a bit of pain (they gave me morphin pills which took most of it), I mostly just felt tired. In the following days I felt fine except a bit of discomfort.

  34. Hi Dodie. Hope all is well. I was introduced to you via "When" and your experience with DPDR. Just curious if you still experience it and how your recovery has been for the past few years since you talked about it (maybe it can be in your response to your Dear 25 year old me). I was trying to find a way to contact you directly but this is the only thing I found. Any feedback would be appreciated. Thank you. -Ehab

  35. I had my gallbladder removed and hear about needing to have a low fat diet. However more than 6 months after the operation I have all the fat I want and still have my original diet and am completely fine and rarely feel any pain close to that off gallbladder pain. (maybe just a small stomach ache that will go away from paracetamol if I eat a whole block of cheese in one go and even then it’s rare). The air from keyhole surgery goes away in a few days, you may just be bloated for the first two or so days which may also just be due to swelling around the area. Hope this helps.

  36. wait what wait do you not hear your thoughts at all? i hear a monologue and see the abstract images and feelings and stuff – i saw a tweet that said people either do one or the other and i thought it was a joke ??? what is going on

  37. Well, I basically prepare talks in my head. ("Ted talks" that I'll never give, but yeah.) It is actual words exactly the same way we talk, and I even edit them while thinking them to make them more truthful, clear, & to the point. And then I wonder about their truth and what I can argue on it, which leads to even more brain talk. It's not about feelings, it's just things I choose to wonder about. At least I think I'm choosing to do so. I mean, it doesn't feel intrusive at all. It's not like I can't think/do something else if & when I'm conscious of it. But it can become a distraction, like in the shower I'd often space out thinking of such talks (which many times are continuations of other talks I've given in my head), and before I know it I was in the shower for an hour (or on one occasion multiple hours), and I sometimes lose track of where I was up to soaping down. I really have to go in the shower with excitement and determination to be quick, or else I can easily wind up in wonder land.

  38. I really wish it would get better somehow so that you don't have to change your diet. Gee, that whole thing sounds scary!

    Imagine not being able to digest any fats. Basically, if I'm not wrong, everything that we eat falls into 3 categories; Fats, Carbs, and Protein. So that means your body won't be able to digest one whole entire category afterward! Youch!

    Also, the 3 apparently famous things added to food to make them taste good are; sugar (i.e. refined carbs), oils (i.e. fat), and salt (which is minerals). So you can still digest sugar and salt, but no more oils/fats. Again, also missing out on an entire category there!

    But on a positive note, carbs and protein are actually most of what we eat by volume (and certainly by weight), compared to fats. So, in that sense, you're not actually losing out on much.

    Also, I'm just wondering, can you still eat fats after such surgery? Like, if fats don't get digested, wouldn't they just go through you with no problem?

    I'm not a doctor, so do ask around about it, and get info from people who know. I hope you make the best, healthiest, safest, and easiest choice in the end. Best of luck!

  39. I have a monologue, and sometimes I speak it out loud and then I realise and i'm like what am I doing? then I stop like I just caught myself talking to myself, then the internal voice continues.

  40. I personally have had my gallbladder out at 16, because of gallstones. I’m 20 now and I’m glad I did. It was causing me a lot of pain and the side effect are nothing compared to the pain. Sure my tummy gets upset when I eat greasy foods but you’ve just gotta pay attention to what you eat/ the pain from the greasy foods now it’s nothing compared to the pain my gallbladder was causing.

  41. As someone who does luckily have a running monologue in my head and doesn’t usually have a problem articulating my feelings, hearing your perspective was very surreal to think about and has helped me understand some of those in my life who struggle put thoughts to words. I usually get quite frustrated but you’ve transformed my mindset. The only thing I’d say about having ‘ fully formed’ thoughts is that it makes it extremely easy to over analyze as the detail you are able to delve into ( whether it’s in relation to a scenario you’re anticipating or a conversation you’ve had ) is excruciating lol . Just my thoughts ! 🙂

  42. i can't see an apple when i try to close my eyes & imagine it! it's weird — i can imagine the idea of it, or words to describe it. the words one isn't really imagining it. it's just describing it with words. can y'all seriously, like… see an apple when you close your eyes? or anything you can come up with? :0

  43. I have problems with my gallbladder too and it feels like you’re being stabbed for hours on end. Genuinely think if I have children one day it will be less painful

  44. I have a running monologue brain and it's just as bonkers to me that you experience consciousness so differently.
    I can not hear music in my mind, nor can I make pictures. Our flesh sacks are so neat. Congrats on being a human, Dodie.

  45. What you said about thoughts was very interesting. I think I have 2 ways of thinking. If there is a goal or a reason for a thought then it`s always in words. But if I`m just randomly thinking and reakting to something, for example just looking around or daydreaming, then there is no words. But as soon as I realise that I ”exist” the word comes back. Does anyone feel the same??

  46. I knew dodie was someone who didnt have a monologue inside their heads. She just looks like she doesnt. Anyway it feels good most of the time but it's not as easy to bring this sentences into the real world or the paper as you might think. Sometimes it's very frustating because you have a perfect sentence in your head and a perfect idea but you just C A N N O T For the life of you articulate it in a way that people will understand. That's probably the worst part.

  47. Strange I told my friends and partner the other day that I craved change but I wasnt sure why or what or how or what area in my life. It's a labyrinth I'm scared but curious to explore but I think I should lol. There must be something in the water. Great minds think alike. Which every mind in a way is great because they are capable of doing so much lmao. Lovely video dodie. Excited to see the next ❤

  48. i think in sentences WAY more than images. when you said to imagine an apple it was somewhat difficult for me, so trying to picture things in my mind are hard to keep in my brain. these images or scenes tend to only last seconds for me if i’m not concentrating hard enough. i usually feel like i’m writing something in my brain so yeah brains and thoughts are crazy weird

  49. I am!!! 18!!!! At college for the first time!!!! And the idea that I could be OKAY with change and WANT it and not want to GO BACK all the time???? Cannot imagine that. Would like to hear more, please. Perhaps I won't be having existential crises every night

  50. Watching this with my stupid brain monologue going and then you get to the brain monologue bit was so trippy, i mean idk about /healthy/ people by my brain monologue (that's what i'm callig it now) has to do with my DID/Dissociation and it's annoying af because it will. never. shut. up. like i've given myself (temporary thankgod) hearing loss multiple times cause of trying to drown it out and ugh yeah, brains are weird

    Also as far as analyzing it, you ever seen those old cartoons of the train going reallly fast the the character like laying down track as fast as possible while on the train? It's a lot like the opposite of that! Like the words just fall into the abyss maybe like 5 seconds max after they're thought?

  51. it seems so weird to me that people dont have a constant monologue in there head like if Im thirsty I think I want a water rn

  52. I have a running monologue. Its basically like im narrating or writing a book about life, all the time.

  53. what’s it like going to the emergency room
    and not going into debt with a huge bill? I’m sorry that’s all I can think of when you mentioned ambulance and A&E

  54. I hope you figure out what to do and you end up okay physically and mentally. I missed your videos, it was great to see someone being so honest about the shit in their life on the internet. It really helps to not feel alone

  55. Please consider changing your microphone or something, I really wanna watch your videos but the way it picks up your voice is so genuinely painful to listen to

  56. Hey Dodie! I've known you for a while, but today I was listening to a random playlist on Deezer. Out of nowhere, Would You Be So Kind starts jamming and I realize… That's my girl Dodie!

    That's it. Cheers and love from Brazil!

  57. hey Dodie! I'm a bit late, but I wanted to say that my mom had the same thing when she was in college and what worked for her was exercising. she had a treadmill and would take a brisk walk on it until she felt better and could sleep. she did eventually have get gallbladder removed, though, with robot surgery, and she's all good now! she hasn't altered her diet too much either, so it wasn't too bad for her and she found that she was far more worried than necessary 🙂

  58. There's a book by James Joyce called "Ulysses" that plays with the idea of what our interiour monolgues look like. Everything' s comprised of images ,sounds, short sentences intermingled with each other. It's pretty difficult to read but I strongly recommend it.

  59. Hey Dodie, i had my gallbladder taken out, the air goes out of your shoulder lol, i know how weird that sounds, but it just means u have a lot of pain in your shoulder for the next few days , they say mint tea and different things will help relieve that pain. But id definitely say it is worth getting it out , cause I know how horrific the pain was 😬

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